“Weeen, Doom. Weeen, Doom.” It began ascending. This roller coaster moves up, with sound of “Weeen,” and falls down a little, in sound of “Doom.” It takes so much time to go up to the top, which scared me a lot.
“Weeen, Doom. Weeen, Doom.” I hear a creaking sound of engine. Oh no…What should I do??? I’m so scared that I wanna die. I felt my head is falling down, but the cushion is holding my head. Oh my… I drank my spit and put my feet close to together to reduce scariness. My spit tasted like water in a pool, and my feet was quivering very hard. It didn’t help me at all.
“Weeen, Doom. Weeen, Doom.” This coaster smelled like a gas. Is this coaster OK? I began worrying. Please don’t kill me… I was very afraid that I might gonna lose my consciousness. I looked down. People in the amusement park, slowly got smaller and smaller. I looked forward. We were in a very high place that we can see the cities like 100km away.
“Weeen, Doom. Weeeeeeeen… Doooooom…..” then engine made a terrible creak. And I noticed that first cart is already falling. Then 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th…
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....!!!!!”
I fall. In a very high speed. I can feel my head is falling toward, and noisy wind, playing with my hair. The wind tasted salty. But I was panicked, so I just grabbed the safety bar very tightly. How long is this taking? I wonder. It was just 5 second, but I felt like 1 hour had passed. It was the longest time I’ve ever felt. I grabbed the safety bar tighter. Please don’t kill me….
When I realized, I was getting out of the coaster.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Descriptive Writing -The Roller Coaster Holler-
Posted by Yusuke at 8:19 AM
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2 comments:
Yusuke, your blog almost made me feel like I was actually on a roller coaster. I thought when you used the repetition of the “Weeen, Doom.” It was very effective. I also enjoyed the anticipation built up for the big drop. Especially the sentence that said, “And I noticed that first cart is already falling. Then 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th…” I felt nervous and anxious just reading it. Great job!
Your use of anomanopia was so cool. It made the me fell really excited about getting to the top of the roller coaster. The repetition of "Weeen, Doom" really helped the piece. Great job!!!
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